Continuing from my last post, this is the main course I enjoyed at the dinner club in De Haag: perfectly cooked mackerel. I had never eaten mackerel before, but aside from the endless supply of bones, it was one of the best meals I had eaten in months. Prior to the mackerel was a delicious red pepper soup, and the meal ended with a refreshingly light tiramisu. It’s a dinner club, started by people who shared common cultural interests, so there is a set menu each night and a no frills atmosphere. But the DJ in the corner and small but professional kitchen made it feel like an intimate restaurant. Did I mention that I ate for free?
Really cool men I shared a delicious (and FREE!) meal at my second Dutch host’s job in Den Haag, the third largest city in Holland after Amsterdam and Rotterdam.
Most of the time it was difficult to make out what Tony was saying, but I just felt honored, I guess, being in his presence. His quirkiness and wisdom is not something you come across everyday. And the only way he and his friend could describe his job is to say that he builds things nobody else can build, like specialty props for movies and such. But he kept telling these stories about the terrible poverty and disease he has seen in South America, the history of pirates and moonshine in Portugal. It was all really interesting.
Once again, I went outside my comfort zone (sitting ‘alone’ with strange men in a dinner club, not restaurant). And it ended up being a really cool experience for me.
I’d like to take a moment to reflect on a few of the biggest differences I’ve observed between Scandanavia and America. Here are four to get us started:
- Shoes off at the door: Whether you are entering someone’s home or a college dormitory hall, you ALWAYS remove your shoes. I wasn’t aware of this custom, but my host in Götenborg kindly asked me to leave my shoes by the door after I had been standing in her living room in my Vibram Fivefingers for twenty minutes. Because how can one expect me to be aware and observant, let alone respectful enough to read up on local customs prior to travelling? Fail. Well I rather like this custom of shoelessness. It has to save a hell of a lot of time in cleaning, and it forces those annoying people who ¨don’t like feet¨to face their fears. Well done, Scandanavia. My mother would love it here. Some more ettiquette info here.
- Marriage is for someday: Scandanavians, and many Europeans, simply don’t value marriage in the same way as Americans. In speaking with folks in Sweden, Norway and even the Netherlands, I keep hearing the same thing. It’s much more common to meet an unmarried couple in their 30s who have been together for ten years and have children than it is to meet two married (or engaged) 28-year olds. I haven’t been able to pinpoint whether or not this is a new aged, generational thing or if Europeans have a widespread fear of committment, but it sounds like Europeans simply don’t feel that marriage is a necessary sacrament for keeping two people together or building a family. Also, though I have yet to see a European wedding, they don’t do the whole princess dress and multi-layered cake, 250 person reception that American girls dream about from the age of five. Here’s an article on this subject as it relates to Sweden. I’ve also found an abundance of articles talking about the effect of gay marriage on heterosexual marriage rates but I’m not currently in the mood to read that trash…
- EVERYTHING* COSTS 2X AS MUCH: Literally. Everything. And in some cases more than that. For example, last night Andreas and I rollerbladed to McDonald’s at 2AM. Because, that’s a wise thing to do, drunk, after having not touched a pair of rollerblades in ten years. Anyhow, our meal of 2x cheeseburgers, 2x medium fries, 1x Big & Tasty-like sandwich and 1x medium soda came to SEK 180 or approximately $30 USD. In the US that would run you about $15, maybe $18 max. Or the other day in Oslo (yeah, yeah, I know) I tried to buy a 6-pack of beer and a 4-pack of cider. When the cash register read NOK 250 or approximately $50 USD I decided to forego the cider. The most basic, shitty flat iron possible in Amsterdam was a whopping £20 or more than $30 USD. An ice cream cone at the Oslo City mall, NOK 36 or $7 USD. Clothes and electronics are extremely expensive too. Best Buy sells the HTC Sensation for $700, my Norwegian friend paid way more than that. Now, granted, there are ¨good reasons¨ for all of this. The dollar is weak, Norway has oil, Scandanavian salaries are higher, etc. etc. But the fact that I can’t, under any circumstances, find a $4 bottle of cheap vodka just doesn’t seem right.
- *Execept for travel: OK so the one thing Europe is good for is travel. International travel within Europe is super affordable and convenient, particularly air travel (thanks to companies like Ryanair, Easyjet, SAS and Norwegian). I´ve spent less than $100 give or take on each plane ticket (from Bremen to Oslo it was just $50 USD) and my transfers (buses, shuttles, etc.) have come to less than $100 total. And although public transportation is not cheap, it seems almost socially acceptable to bypass paying for buses, trams, trains and subways. I at least have avoided paying for 80% of my public transportation and it hasn’t seemed to be problematic. I can’t do the math right now, but if I had to guess, avoiding paying for public transportation has saved me roughly $250 USD. I also avoided a £39 ($60 USD) bus fare to Amsterdam but that was a unique situation. Where the hell can you fly within the US for $50 or avoid paying for the subway?
Check out this bad ass machine that opens a case of beer in one fell swoop. This is sort of a bad example because tthis pass was a little Sloppy Joe, but you get the picture.
On August 12-13 my CouchSurfing hosts and I scored a gig at Göteborg’s Way Out West festival working in the beer & food tent. My Stockholm host, Andreas, figured it would be a great way for me to make a little cash on the road, money I could put towards skydiving. Plus it came with access to the festival itself, which included acts by Prince and Kanye West. When both of these guys came on we started closing down the tent so we could sneak out and watch the performances. Pretty cool experience, being in a foreign country, outside, singing and dancing to these iconic American artists.
But the REAL story is my working experience itself. As you probably know, I don’t speak Swedish. Well my ¨boss¨ didn’t know this, since my application said I did (part of Andreas’ scheme, thank you my friend). Andreas tried teaching me a few words five minutes before we were due at work, namely the FOUR (???) words Swedes use for ‘beer’ and some numbers. But it only took a few minutes before everyone decided it would be best if I played barback. As an unskilled migrant worker my duties included:
- Unload beer, cider and boxed wine from the truck
- Keep the ‘bar’ (giant folding tables) stocked with opened beer, cider and glasses of red and white wine
- Replenish the coolers with water/soda
- Assemble (unfold) hundreds of carboard carrying trays
- Break down stations at close
- Sweep the floors
- Fill one industrial sized trash bag with garbage from the grounds in front of our tent
It was HARD work at times. Lifting heavy boxes, scrambling to stock a constantly depleting supply of drinks with six cashiers depending on me, endless cleaning. But at the end of two days and 25 hours of work we got SEK 2800 ($450 USD) and I met some really cool people (Mona, another functionary, is currently visiting Andreas and I in Stockholm), experienced a Swedish festival and saw some great performances. Plus, I think I learned some things about myself.
AND I did it all wearing my Vibram FiveFingers, which were a great conversation starter with my curious co-workers AND my feet never felt fatigue after 25 hours on hardwood.
Hands down, my favourite new pop artist. Swedish Veronica Maggio
Try this if you can’t access in the States: http://www.mojvideo.com/video-veronica-maggio-jag-kommer/55472049ac22fa37025e
“When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.”Leonardo da Vinci (via Alessandro Fruscella)
A video of my first skydiving (tandem) experience ever! My Swedish host Andreas is a member of Stockhoms Fallskarmsklubb (Gryttjom, near Uppsala) and got the idea to take me for a jump as a way to spend the money we made at Way Out West. It cost SEK 1900 (~300USD) and I had to delay my trip to Amsterdam in order to book time, but it was well worth it. My instruktor gave me a few simple instructions (mostly “smile for the camera!”) and then we were off, packed into a small plane with about 10 other jumpers, mostly solos. I wasn’t scared prior to jumping, just a little nervous I’d do something to piss off my instruktor. But how could I? Gunlog - perhaps Sweden’s only certified tandem instrukor - was a total sweetheart. But once we jumped, that’s when I got nervous. Little things, like when Max (photo/video guy from Colorado) and I were struggling to hold hands, to the fastener Gunlog unclipped in midair, I was more than a little concerned that it might just be my luck that I’d plummet to my doom. I obviously did not, and in just an hour or less I had a great video and tons of pictures! Check that one off the list…
May I spoke too soon about CouchSurfing…
Well, not really. But I learned my first lesson: last-minute CSing can yield some surprising accomodations if done with too much haste.
Let me start off by saying that the arrangement I am referring to was, in general, very positive. It produced a lot of laughs, great conversation, yummy (and free!) dinner and a comfortable night’s rest. But as a rule, I usually don’t prefer to surf with 19-year-olds…or their parents.
Ugh. So how did this happen?
When I arranged my stay with my original A’dam host, we never discussed how long I would stay. When my trip drew nearer I asked which days he could host me and was offered 8/18-21, the first three days of my planned stay. Three nights, weekend, very standard. But when I decided to reschedule my trip to three days later, four hours before my flight I assumed I needed to find alternative arrangements… FAST.
Usually when I search for a couch there’s one more piece of criteria I look for that I forgot to mention: Age. There are a LOT of college-aged CouchSurfers, naturally, who host in addition to surf. While I love young people (doesn’t that make me sound like some kind of politician?) I now officially, at 26, feel like the token creep should I find myself inside a dorm room.
But alas, when couch searching for last minute accomodations in A’dam I was doing so hastily and forgot to set age parameters. When age came up at the dinner table, and I learned my next host is only 19 years old, it did so in front of an old friend and my host from the night before. It was clear that I wasn’t the only one shocked. But not until it was too late to catch a train back to Amsterdam from De Haag (where he took me to) did he reveal that we would be staying at his parents’ house.
Now, I have to say, up until this point in my trip I feel as though I have been uncharacteristically easygoing for a female, American cityslicker. I’ve experienced London during the riots, worked a job in a country where I don’t speak the language and slept in a camp where the only showers are co-ed and stall-less. But this is where I started drawing a line. If for no other reason than I couldn’t imagine having to handle advances from a 19-year-old. After all, he could be one of those. And maybe that’s why he chose to host me.
After making it clear that I would not be meeting parents tonight, it turned out to be just a minor speed bump in an otherwise lovely experience. My host was actually quite mature, had a really smart sense of humor, and took very good care of me. Before that whole revelation, I enjoyed a delicious 3-course meal at the social club where he’s worked since he was 15. Since there was only room for me at an already occupied table, I had the pleasure of taking part in a really interesting conversation about poverty in Peru and pirates in Portugal with Gary and Dick, two middle aged friends from England and Holland, respectively. And as it turns out, I stayed in Theo Jansen’s home, with his son :)
So all in all, my CouchSurfing experience with the 19-year-old was a good one. The advantage of staying with a student? They know the ins and outs of budgeting (whereas older hosts tend to enjoy pricier dinners and entertainment that can spoil your week’s budget).
But if the thought of parents or the “I’m too old for you” talk is going to scare you away from CouchSurfing, or maybe you don’t want to stay with anyone old enough to have their own college student, simply set an age min/max when couch searching. And always clarify ALL of the details surrounding your “couch.” Problem solved :)
By the way, he’s actually 21, tomorrow. But that’s another story.
Isn’t couch surfing dangerous?
So far? The answer is a big, fat “NO.” It’s day seventeen of my trip and already I have stayed with three CouchSurfing hosts, all of whom have been some of the most trustworthy, respectful and generous people I’ve ever met in my 26 years.
Some answers to the FAQ’s:
- How did you find these people? I of course used Couchsurfing.org, more specifically, the CouchSearch functionality. For each city I planned to visit, I did a search for everyone who had photos and whose couches were listed as ”available.”
- How did you narrow your search? What other criteria did you use? I definitely favored those who had hosted/been hosted before and had positive reviews. I also checked when they had last been online and what their reponse rate was. A well-written profile is also a plus. And honestly, I did somewhat choose people based on their appearance. Why? Because I have the perception that attractive people who resemble my friends/family/colleagues are more trustworthy and may have more in common with me. That may disappoint some, but hey, just being honest.
- Why have you been surfing with men exclusively? I would say that 70% of the requests I sent were to men, 30% to women. This is mainly because there are more male CouchSurfers and more that meet my aforementioned criteria. But also I tend to prefer the company of men and I believe they tend to prefer mine. In my defense, maybe one of the requests I sent to women yielded an acceptance. Although everyone I’ve stayed with has been super respectful, many people use CSing as a dating site. Just look at GAYMENONLYPLEASE’s profile.
- How did you know these people could be trusted? I obviously didn’t really know that, but I used their references as a first checkpoint, then Skype (in most cases, in some I made last-minute arrangements with no time to Skype). For me, Skype at least gave me a peek into my hosts’ personalities and verified, to some degree, that they were who they said they were. It was also a good way to get some of the preliminary “what do you do for a living?” kind of conversation out of the way. Plus, Skype is so fucking cool!
- How do you arrange payment? You don’t. You reciprocate generosity how you please and pay it forward. CSing is about free accomodations, period.
- How long do you stay with your hosts? It depends. Understandably hosts tend to only want to host you for a couple nights. After all, what if you turn out to be a total slob/pervert/Nazi? And for the most part, that’s all I needed. But I think Andreas (Sweden) could tell that we’d get along so we planned for seven nights. That turned into 10 :)
- Where do you sleep? On the couch, stupid! Well, OK, truthfully… in some cases you may share a sleeping surface either out of necessity or as a result of a really strong bond you form. Sometimes you know ahead of time, sometimes it’s spontaneous. But most of the time, you stay on the couch.
- Would you do CouchSurfing again? Yes, both out of necessity and because it’s really fucking awesome. I love all three of my hosts so far. I hope we remain friends for life :)
